Subject Re: [IB-Architect] After the Election SPAM, I couldn't resist posting this......
Author Rob Schuff
dude! that was like, you know...harsh. I never knew that England (Maine,
Connecticut, New Hampshire etc) used to have a king. way cool.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Paul Beach" <pabeach@...>
To: <>
Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2000 9:38 AM
Subject: [IB-Architect] After the Election SPAM, I couldn't resist posting

> Buckingham Palace
> 14th November 2000
> To the residents of the United States of America,
> In view of your abject failure to elect a President and thus to govern
> yourselves, We give hereby Notice of the Revocation of your Independence,
> effective today at Five O'Clock Greenwich Mean Time.
> Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume sovereign duties
> forthwith over all states, commonwealths and other territories, except
> Florida, which Shall be returned to His Illustrious Catholic Majesty, King
> Juan Carlos of Spain. Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair,
> for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
> outside your borders) will suggest to Her Majesty a Governor-General for
> America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate
> will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to
> determine whether any of you noticed.
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> are introduced with immediate effect:
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you
> should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
> Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
> "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. Look up "interspersed".
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft
> on your behalf.
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian
> It really isn't that difficult.
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast British actors as
> the good guys.
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
> get confused and give up half way through.
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
> of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
> will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
> football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
> difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
> rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
> stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
> armour). We are hoping to get together at least an American rugby sevens
> side by 2005.
> 7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a
> national holiday, but only in the British Empire. It will be called
> "Indecisive Day".
> 8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
> your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
> mean.
> 9. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
> Thank you for your cooperation.
> Welcome Back.
> Paul Beach
> Tel (UK):+44 (0) 1844 354465
> E-mail: pabeach@...
> Select support, all_versions from InterBase.
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