> Having new SQL features (Stored Functions, c'mon now!), Java
> Stored Procedures and - perhaps - .NET procedure would be
> coolish.

How about Delphi Stored Procedures ? :)

> Add to that: a "variant" datatype, so you could do your own
> wrapper around "coalesce", for example, would be even more cool.

Explain it, please

Regards,
Vlad